Boundaries
by bethos
Summary: Xander: closet geek. Andrew: not-so-closet geek. Put them together? (finished!)
1. Gosh, Andrew

BOUNDARIES  
  
Title: Boundaries  
  
Author: Slasher of the Apocalypse ;-)  
  
Feedback: I eat it up. Really I do.  
  
Rating: PG-13  
  
Disclaimer: The characters in here are not mine, although I do keep some of them in boxes in my closet ... they belong to the show from which I've swiped 'em.  
  
Summary: Xander: closet geek. Andrew: not-so-closet geek. Put them together?  
  
******  
  
Dawn was sitting on the couch with one leg curled beneath her and the other sticking out, her binder open and ignored on her lap. The familiar mind- numbing warmth of the television washed over her. It was a relief to detach, even if it was only for a little while.  
  
Andrew knew the feeling.  
  
"Hey Dawn," he said. He'd sought out her company because his life sucked and she was one of the few people around here who didn't seem intent on pointing this out to him at every available opportunity. "Whatcha watching?"  
  
She looked up and smiled. It was infectious. He'd always heard about people having infectious smiles and he was inordinately pleased to have found somebody out there to whom the adjective could be applied. "Er, homework. But The Little Mermaid really."  
  
"Oh, that's a good one," Andrew said. "But Disney's gone really downhill with the last couple movies."  
  
"Yeah," Dawn said. She sounded as though she was agreeing because that was what everybody said. "I really liked Hercules, though."  
  
"Oh, yeah, Hercules," Andrew said. "Hades was really neat in that."  
  
Kennedy stormed into the room. She plunked down on the couch and crossed her legs, picking up the remote. She glanced at Dawn, and seeing the slightly younger girl apparently engrossed in her homework, she started flipping channels.  
  
"Uh, excuse me, Kennedy?" Andrew said. "We were watching that."  
  
Kennedy turned and stared at him. What, bug, are you addressing me? Her eyes spoke clearly, even though she didn't say any words.  
  
He felt the red heat climbing to his cheeks and fought back against it, standing up straighter and raising his eyebrows at Kennedy. "We were watching that," he said. "You know, you should really consider other people more, Kennedy."  
  
Kennedy stared.  
  
"Because sometimes they do have feelings and you shouldn't walk all over them just because you think you're something special," Andrew continued blithely, his body language screaming 'smooth confidence'. "You and Willow may have something beautiful 'going on'" - air quotes - "but that doesn't give you the right to lord it over Dawn just because she's too sweet and considerate to say anything."  
  
"Gosh," said Kennedy, utterly transformed by Andrew's eloquence. "I never thought of it like that. I'm sorry, Dawn, I should've asked if you were watching something."  
  
Dawn nodded. "It's okay, Kennedy," she said. "Just don't let it happen again." She gave Andrew a tremendous beaming smile. "Thanks, Andrew! You're the greatest!"  
  
***  
  
Kennedy turned and stared at him. What, bug, are you addressing me? Her eyes spoke clearly, even though she didn't say any words.  
  
Andrew reddened and looked away. "Um, nothing," he said.  
  
"It's okay," Dawn said quickly, "I was just going to go, um, do my homework. In another room. Homework, in another room." She closed her binder and shot Andrew a conciliatory look as she left.  
  
Andrew sighed and headed for the kitchen. Kennedy had turned back to the TV, scowling ferociously.  
  
Thanks, Andrew! he thought sourly as he started chopping broccoli for dinner. You're the greatest ... 


	2. A Little Chat

"Andrew?"  
  
Andrew's knife slipped and almost sliced off his thumb. "Oh, uh, hi, Xander," he said, turning around a little too quickly.   
  
"Hey, watch it," Xander said, eyebrows upswept. "You could end up hurting somebody."  
  
"I'm okay. Um, did you want something?" said Andrew, inwardly quivering with self-abasement - so inarticulate, why couldn't he be articulate and witty like Xander always was? Not that there was anything intimidatingly eloquent of "hey, watch it, you could end up hurting somebody" ... but Xander always knew how to defuse the situation with a joke, he always knew what to say, he was so, so good at knowing what to say. He was just so good ...   
  
Andrew often knew what to say, too, when it came to that. It was just a question of getting up enough courage to say it. And he'd probably never be good like Xander. No matter how much he redeemed himself.  
  
"Yeah," Xander said. "So I understand you like to watch Enterprise?"  
  
Andrew had no idea where this one could possibly go. "Yeah? I mean ... not the height of Trek or anything but ... you know, enjoyable, it's, er, worth watching."  
  
"I thought you know since you're all into Star Trek and stuff you might want to come over to, you know, my place. Chill on the couch, watch some Enterprise. Have a Fresca," Xander said, casually. A little diffidently. "I mean, we've all been a bit tough on you lately and ... I figured you could use some, you know, male bonding time. Mano a mano. That kinda thing."  
  
Andrew could feel his face lighting up as though Xander had flipped a switch. "That'd be great!" he exclaimed. "I'll make us some brownies!" Then his expression fell. "Um, is it okay with the Slayer if I just ... leave?"  
  
Xander grinned a little. "Buffy said I could borrow you for a bit," he said.   
  
"Really?" Andrew said.  
  
"Well. Not borrow exactly, those weren't *precisely* her exact words," Xander admitted, "but ... general gist. Yeah. She said I could borrow you."  
  
"Okay," Andrew said, beaming happily. He wasn't about to let a little of Buffy's negativity get in the way of his being totally enthused about an evening with his new friend (and, if it came to that, idol). "Well, consider me thoroughly on loan."  
  
"Er," Xander said. "All right. Good." He hesitated a little as though not sure what the next step was in this conversation.  
  
"What time is it on?" Andrew asked.  
  
"Wednesdays," Xander said vaguely. "Oh, I've, uh, got some tapes. You know, it's been so busy the last ... jeez, the last century or so, I just set the VCR to tape shows I may at some point want to see."  
  
"You are so smart," Andrew said, beaming. VHS wasn't DVD, but you couldn't have everything.  
  
"Well, I *am* the brains of this operation," Xander repied modestly.  
  
Andrew smiled. "So, um, see you later, then," he said, getting some butter out of the refrigerator. "I'll just ... finish up in the kitchen and stuff. After dinner?"   
  
"Good," Xander said. He gave Andrew the thumbs-up. "Brownies are good. See you later."  
  
He was out of the kitchen, then, leaving the terribly excited Andrew in search of cocoa in the pantry with fumbling fingers. 


	3. Canamar

Author's Note on this chapter: Yeah, if you don't know Enterprise this probably won't be *as* fun, but you'll still get the general idea ...  
  
____________  
  
"Come on in, have a seat," Xander said. "Home sweet couch."  
  
Andrew looked around the room, holding his tupperware container of brownies in both hands. The room was ... just a room. Nondescript. A little musty. It looked as though it was one of those places that *never* got cleaned.  
  
Andrew found himself wanting to live in it. It looked as though it suffered for serious want of occupation; it wasn't so much a home as a place that got slept in. But Xander was at Buffy's a whole lot lately.  
  
"It's very nifty," he said.  
  
"Well, you know what they say," Xander answered. " ... it's not much but it's home, right?"  
  
"Right," Andrew said, sitting down on one corner of the couch. He felt awkward.  
  
Xander squatted next to the TV and started digging through a pile of tapes. "What one do you want to watch?"  
  
"What ones do you have?" Andrew asked.  
  
Xander glanced over his shoulder and made a face for Andrew's benefit. "Well, lots, but I tape over the episodes that are really idiotic," he said. "So I don't have Carbon Creek or Precious Cargo."  
  
"Okay," Andrew said. "I've only seen one or two from the beginning of the season."  
  
"All right, we can watch Canamar," Xander decided. "That's the most recent one and I haven't seen it yet."  
  
"Sweet," said Andrew, watching as Xander slid the tape into the VCR. "Where should I put the sustenance?"  
  
"Oh, right, food," Xander said with a brief grin. "Just stick it on the couch," he added, sitting down on the other corner and leaving the center cushion free. "So we can both reach it."  
  
Ten minutes later, the brownies were all gone; Andrew had had a couple, which he ate neatly, while Xander now had an endearing rim of chocolate around his mouth. They sat companionably and watched the show. Xander had all sorts of witty and sarcastic comments to make. The evening was everything that Andrew could have hoped for, really.  
  
Well, almost everything. But he didn't dare risk saying anything. He knew Xander wouldn't be interested and would probably be completely freaked out.  
  
"I'm tellin' ya, Cap'm, Andrew may never get another chance at true love," Commander Tucker was saying on the screen.  
  
Andrew stared.  
  
Captain Archer's brow furrowed with concern. "I don't know, Trip, Anya and Xander were showing some serious signs of chromosome swapping."  
  
Andrew choked back a squeak of surprise and glanced at Xander, who didn't seem to notice anything out of the ordinary.   
  
"But he'll never know for sure if he doesn't try, Cap'm ..." said Commander Tucker anxiously.  
  
This was something that was quite special, this was only for him. No one else in the world had seen this. No one else in the world knew that Commander Tucker and Captain Archer were intimately concerned with the details of Andrew's social life.  
  
"He's still hurting a lot after Warren and Jonathan, Trip - you know I don't like to see people hurting." The Captain was all fatherly concern in his close-up.  
  
"But imagine if he doesn't even give it a shot! There's nothin' he'll regret more for the rest of his life! I cain't stand seein' opportunities wasted, Cap'm!" The Chief Engineer's heavy Southern accent got even thicker when he got more passionate.  
  
Andrew found himself wondering a few minutes later, when the story had completely returned to normal - something about a ship full of convicts that wanted to escape - what the actual dialogue had been.  
  
"I'll be back," Xander said suddenly. "Bathroom break."  
  
"Want me to pause it?" Andrew asked.  
  
"Good idea," said Xander, and hit pause on the remote. Then he sauntered off to the bathroom and left Andrew by himself on the couch with the empty tupperware.  
  
Andrew let out a breath. What an evening this was turning out to be! 


	4. Imagine If

"Andrew ...?" Xander's voice was heavier, thicker than it usually was, as though there was something on his mind.  
  
Andrew swiveled on the couch, away from the frozen image on the screen, and stared. There wasn't anything physically different about Xander, of course; the same slightly rumpled T-shirt, the same loose blue jeans, the same ruffled dark hair and large, expressive dark eyes ... they glinted now with an emotion Andrew wasn't sure he could put a name to, but one which made his heart thump in his chest.  
  
"X-Xander?" Andrew stammered.  
  
"I can't hold it in any longer," Xander said in a low voice. He crossed the room and leaned with his palms against the couch, his face inches away from Andrew's. His breath smelled of chocolate, his body of cologne and sweat. He made Andrew tingle all over.  
  
"Hold what in?" Andrew asked, the blush creeping into his cheeks as his eyes opened as wide as they'd ever been and he stared into Xander's warm brown eyes. Warm brown, but dark ... dark, like chocolate, like good coffee, like ... like sweet, hot mochaccino.  
  
"I can't take it any longer," Xander said, leaning even closer. He laid one warm hand on Andrew's shoulder and drew him in. He was close - very close - and beautiful - and strong. "I love you. I want you. I want you more every minute."  
  
"Oh, Xander," breathed Andrew, "but how can it work?"  
  
"I couldn't stand for the First to take us, for one of us to die, without the truth being spoken," Xander said seriously. His presence made every hair on Andrew's body stand on end, he was so close now, so close and so masculine, and yet so sensitive, so tender ... "And I love you. I want to be with you. I don't know how long I've known, but I do know we can't be apart, not any longer."  
  
Andrew felt the tears coming, tears from a joy so beautiful he couldn't express it. "Oh, Xander, and I love you!" he exclaimed breathlessly. "I can't tell you how long I've been waiting for this moment!"  
  
Xander ran his fingers tenderly through Andrew's springy hair. "We were meant to be," he said softly. "We have so much in common ..."  
  
"Yes!" Andrew exclaimed. "Yes, we *do*! Oh, please -- don't torture me any longer, darling -- kiss me!"  
  
Xander merely gazed at him for a long moment, his dark eyes brimming with emotion, before he found Andrew's mouth with his own for love's sweetest kiss.  
  
And then he was gone. There was nothing. He was alone, and Xander was still in the bathroom.  
  
Andrew clung to the side of the couch, his eyes wide. "I have to stop this," he whispered. "I can't keep letting my imagination get away with me." He shook his head to clear it and then buried his face in his hands, breathing deeply through his fingers. It had felt so real. It was so unfair. Xander would never look at him that way ... Xander would never touch him that way ... Xander would never want to ...  
  
Those were Anya's looks, Anya's caresses, Anya's kisses. Andrew had seen that himself. And although it seemed as though they were over now, then maybe those looks, those caresses, those kisses, maybe they'd go to another girl. Some caring, intelligent, ravishing woman with excellent taste to match Xander's own who would appreciate him for what he was, for the wonderful, beautiful, caring, intelligent, humorous, sensitive, responsible, tasteful, talented, absurdly perfect man that Xander could be. And if Xander found that woman, to love him and care for him, well, Andrew couldn't begrudge him that.  
  
"Andrew ...?"  
  
Andrew looked up. Xander had come out of the bathroom and was peering at him with an expression of concern.  
  
"You okay, bud?"  
  
That's right, bud. We're friends, Andrew thought. I love being Xander's friend. Even if I can't be anything else for him, it will be wonderful when I can be his friend. "I'm fine," he said, smiling meekly at him. "Just a bit of a headache."  
  
"Want some aspirin?" Xander asked, leaning on the back of the couch.  
  
Andrew paused for a moment, remembering the surreal reality of his daydream, and then he smiled again and shook his head. "That's okay, I'll be all right."  
  
"Okay, if you say so," Xander said, climbing over the back of the couch to hop back onto his corner of it. "Shall we?"  
  
"Go ahead," Andrew said.  
  
He let out a long breath as Xander unpaused the episode of Enterprise. Damn his imagination for being so cruel to him ...  
  
... oh, but bless it, bless it for being so sweet! 


	5. The Beginning

A/N: I'd like to apologize for the stall on this story and on everything else that I'm writing; between college, a deceased computer, and everything else, I've had no time or energy for fanfiction ... and I beg everyone's forgiveness who reads this story, if any of you are still left with any interest so long after the last update. ;-)  
  
The credits rolled across the screen. The hour, for all its ups and downs, had been delightful. Andrew couldn't ask for anything better.  
  
He could *wish*, sure, but he couldn't ask.   
  
Xander flicked the TV off while the tape rewound. "So," he said.   
  
Andrew smiled nervously at him. "So," he said.  
  
"It's good spending some time away from the girls once in awhile," Xander said.  
  
"Yeah," Andrew said.   
  
"I never realized how long they spent blow-drying their hair," Xander said. "They have to take the bathroom in shifts. I've never seen anything like it."  
  
Andrew nodded.   
  
There was an awkward pause. Andrew didn't want to say anything for fear it would turn out to be something completely stupid.  
  
"What'd you think of the episode?" Xander said, as the tape stopped rewinding.  
  
"I liked it a lot!" Andrew said. "I mean, I didn't think it was exactly their best or anything but it was okay. I liked the guy with the wobbly ear things talking to Trip."  
  
"Wouldn't want to sit next to him on a plane, though," Xander said, chuckling.  
  
"I guess not," Andrew said. He started talking faster as he got more enthusiastic about the conversation, although his gestures were still a dead giveaway to his nerves. "But it was really funny. I like Connor Trineer a lot, his comedy timing is really good. And his jacket was really cool, I want a jacket like that, except I don't know where I would wear it. I guess just around. Although I don't know if it was exactly nice of them, you know, threatening to kill people off that way after what happened with those astronauts."  
  
"Astronauts?" Xander looked confused.  
  
"You know, the ones that died," Andrew said, pulling his legs up onto the couch to hug his knees.   
  
"Oh," Xander said, looking sheepish. "Sometimes I forget things happen outside of Sunnydale."  
  
"Well, that's okay," Andrew said immediately. "I mean, you've got such an awful lot on your mind lately. With, you know, the First. And everything." He felt suddenly inarticulate and blushed as he looked at the floor.  
  
Xander was quiet for a minute. "You're a good kid, Andrew," he said.  
  
"Buffy said I was like an evil sponge," Andrew said, because he had a long memory for strange things. "I guess maybe I'm like a good sponge, too. And I'm around you a lot now so I'm sponging your good." He'd never really thought of it like that. He didn't really think of himself as a *sponge*, exactly. But Xander certainly had plenty of good to go around. And he did want to be like Xander ... especially if that would make Xander like him.  
  
Xander chuckled. "Well, sponging my good or not," he said. "Buffy told me about what happened at the Seal."  
  
Andrew reddened again. "Um," he said. "Yeah."  
  
"And I figured you deserved a break," Xander said.   
  
"I think you do more than me," Andrew said. "I mean, I'm the one who's gonna die."  
  
"What? Get out of here, you're not gonna die," Xander said.  
  
"I think I am," said Andrew. "And ... and I think it's right. After what I did."  
  
"You're not going to die," Xander repeated. "And anyway, even if you were going to die, I don't see why you shouldn't get a break before you did. I don't understand your logic."  
  
"I don't know if I have any," said Andrew. "But like, um, you deserve a break more because you're actually helpful. I'm just the resident evil guy turned chef type person."  
  
"I'm just a glorified carpenter, Andrew," Xander said, shaking his head. "Anyway, I didn't say I didn't deserve a break. After all, it's just us guys tonight, right?"  
  
"Right," Andrew said. "Okay."  
  
"I never realized being surrounded by a crowd of good-looking girls was that bad of a thing, really," Xander said.  
  
"It gets kinda old," Andrew said, nodding.  
  
"But we should probably head back eventually," Xander said. "Who knows what's happening back there, with we sane types away?"  
  
We sane types, thought Andrew.  
  
"I bet it's a mess," Andrew said.   
  
"But we should do this again sometime," Xander said decisiviely, standing up.  
  
Andrew got up and hid his hands in his pockets. "Yeah!" he said, beaming up at Xander. "Yeah, we definitely should."  
  
"Great," Xander said. "Come on, buddy. We'll head back to Chez Buffy."  
  
"Okay," Andrew said. He grinned as he tried out the next, somehow unfamiliar word: "Buddy."  
  
So they were friends and that was all right. Xander would never like him the other way. Xander liked girls and he was probably going to one day get back together with Anya, maybe even marry her, Andrew didn't know. But he did know that Xander was friends with him, even if he did sometimes annoy him, and that Xander wanted him to feel better about Jonathan even though he didn't deserve it.  
  
And that was more than he could possibly have asked for.  
  
Not more than he could wish for, though.  
  
Andrew was good at wishes.  
  
Especially the impossible kind.  
  
FINIS 


End file.
